Where have you been Cassie?

 

Hi Guys!

I know that it's been quite some time since I've posted on my blog. Sorry for the long hiatus. 

The truth is, I had a lot going on at home. The two main reasons I stopped blogging were having a baby, and my father becoming terminally ill with pancreatic cancer, all while  he was fighting lewy body dementia. I took over as his caretaker, which to be honest, was a tremendous strain on me mentally, and physically. While I do not regret the time I took to take care of him, it did have an enormous negative impact on me. 

My dad passed away in April. Right before he died I started having panic attacks and suffered from an anxiety disorder. It was not pretty. 

I was told that I was going through something called complex grief. So, instead of having crying fits, as is normal during the grieving process, I had panic attacks. 

All of this was going on while my state of Michigan was in the midst of a huge corona virus outbreak and we were in total lock down. It was awful. I felt trapped at home. I was a prisoner of my own grief. 

April is also the month that I became pregnant with my second child. So I had hormones messing with my emotions as well. It was not pretty. 

Needless to say, I've had a lot to deal with. And it's really taken a toll on my writing. I pretty much have had writer's block since December 2019 when my father's health started to rapidly decline. 

Five months after his death, I am sitting here, picking up the pieces of my life, and finding myself grateful for my supportive family and friends. My anxiety is down to a manageable level, and my panic attacks are becoming weaker by the day. 

I was finally able to bury my father in August. He now resides next to my mother in a private family owned cemetery in upstate NY. I spread their beloved dog's ashes on their graves and said my good byes. 

I am really not sure when I'm going to be able to go back that way to visit them. It's a 2 day drive to get there, and I have another baby on the way, which is making travel more difficult. It is what it is at this point.

Speaking of babies...

Quite a while ago I had planned on publishing my first vampire novel, which I had posted here as a serial story titled ADDICTED TO THE ABYSS. (I know, not the most imaginative of titles, but whatever. You guys LOVED IT!) 

I am now working on getting it formatted for print and e-book (and re-titled into something more interesting lol). In addition, I am working on writing a companion piece to it, from Mallory's perspective. Before my life (and the world) went all to hell, I had a series of books plotted out to take place in the VAMPIRE ADDICTS setting. Including lore as to how and where the vampires came from. I was even working on that world's version of werewolves. Something new and different from the usual fur and claws stuff. 

I can't give a release date for the book or new serial just yet. I am still in the planning and formatting stages. But I will be keeping you updated. 

Thanks for sticking with me, and for loving what I've posted on this blog so far. I hope to start reviewing movies again in the new future, as well as writing more vampire stories. 

Also, I just want to say, if you are dealing with anxiety, or panic attacks, and are looking for some advice, feel free to hit me up. I may not have all the answers, but sometimes it helps just to speak to someone who knows what it feels like. You don't have to go through it alone. 

Take it easy guys, see you on the flip side.