Sunday, March 2, 2014

'Everything Wrong with Saw in 8 Minutes or Less'

I've never been a fan of "Saw." The movie was just too flawed, and too unrealistic for me to enjoy watching it. "But Cassie," you might say, "It's a slasher film, why does it have to be realistic? I mean come on, the blood and guts are awesome!"

The movie needs to be realistic because it's based on reality, and the characters, including the villain, are plain old ordinary humans that are having a really, really bad day. So, yeah, it does have to be realistic and visceral. And "Saw" is neither of those two things.

Also- portraying physical violence in a way that grosses out and discomfits the viewers isn't scary, that's just torture porn.

I remember the first time I tried to watching the granddaddy of the torture porn horror sub-genre; I was at my (at the time) future father-in-law's house and they had it on the TV. I watched about ten minutes of it and was like, "Yeah, OK. There's no effing way that a man dying of cancer has the energy, or money, to create an elaborate  labyrinth of death in an industrial park. And how does a professional janitor get the inclination, or the skill set, to make such an articulated marionette? He had to pay someone to make it for him."

So, uh, what did you say you needed a creepy puppet capable of riding a tricycle for again? A death trap? Yeah, hold on a sec, lemme call my friend to see if it's legal...

And even if Jigsaw could afford to hire a bunch of thugs to build the huge maze of death for him, how the hell would no one notice all of those trucks dropping off all that equipment? Someone would've gotten the order for thousands of needles, or saws, or custom made bear trap, or whatever, and refused the order, and tipped off the cops, or, quite possibly the FBI. I mean, come on!

People who go out of their way to create death traps and then kidnap people and drop them off in the middle of them and tell them that they have to kill someone else to survive is a murderer. Period. Jigsaw isn't an anti-hero or whatever else they try to paint him as, he's a freaking psychopath who loves to watch while he forces people to kill.

Anyways, I digress. This "Everything Wrong" video by CinemaSins, points out the major flaws of "Saw" and explains with typical acerbic wit, exactly what is wrong, and why it is wrong, in pithy quips that are fun for the whole family.

Oh, hey...

Did I forget to mention that I hate the Saw franchise? Because I do.

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1 comment:

  1. I've never been a big fan of the SAW franchise as well. However, I did enjoy the very first movie and the third one.